Watercooler Philosophers Gifts

"We don't kiss butt around here, but we sure bootlick the bottom line."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

"This is a tough place to work..."

"My son has a magnetic personality. That's why he's always hanging on the refrigerator door."

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

Man at cooler, notices mouse hole also with cooler.

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'

"So hardly working....or hardly working?"

'Notice to all employees...there is altogether too much goofing off on company time.'

"I think I'll go do some work. I'm actually feeling goof-off fatigue."