Water Cooler Competitor Gifts

'It just got ugly. Ed from I.T. drank the entire water cooler and he wasn't even thirsty!'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

'While you were out I replaced you.'

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

"This is a tough place to work..."

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'

Man at cooler, notices mouse hole also with cooler.

"We got a pool going about when the bubbles go."

There is nothing permanent, except changing the water bottle.

"So hardly working....or hardly working?"

No Loitering. Beware of the Dog.

'Notice to all employees...there is altogether too much goofing off on company time.'

'We've had to pool our resources.'