Water Cooler Confidant Gifts

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

'While you were out I replaced you.'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

"This is a tough place to work..."

'It just got ugly. Ed from I.T. drank the entire water cooler and he wasn't even thirsty!'

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

Man at cooler, notices mouse hole also with cooler.

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'

No Loitering. Beware of the Dog.

"So hardly working....or hardly working?"

"We got a pool going about when the bubbles go."

'We've had to pool our resources.'