Water Cooler Confidant Gifts

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"This is a tough place to work..."

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

'It just got ugly. Ed from I.T. drank the entire water cooler and he wasn't even thirsty!'

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'

Man at cooler, notices mouse hole also with cooler.

"So hardly working....or hardly working?"

There is nothing permanent, except changing the water bottle.

No Loitering. Beware of the Dog.