Water Cooler Strategist Gifts

'We've had to pool our resources.'

"Don't get him talking unless you want to hear all about the Laffer Curve."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

'It just got ugly. Ed from I.T. drank the entire water cooler and he wasn't even thirsty!'

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"This is a tough place to work..."

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

Man at cooler, notices mouse hole also with cooler.

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'

"So hardly working....or hardly working?"

"I think I'll go do some work. I'm actually feeling goof-off fatigue."