Water Cooler Warrior Gifts

There is nothing permanent, except changing the water bottle.

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

'Hey, Grandma! Watch how long I can hold my breath underwater!'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

The Perfect Cannonball

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Wrong leadership.

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"Great, microplastic - there goes the neighborhood."

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'It's up to you, either synch or swim.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'While you were out I replaced you.'

Save the river.

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

The very popular sport of White Water Grafting (competitors grafting branches to trees while fighting water rapids).

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

"This is a tough place to work..."

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up way out here!"

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'