Water Birth Gifts

Stork and baby

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Bond James, Bond."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.

My First Camera

The cell phone soother for life.

Baby Piano

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pool attached to child's bed.

A midwife holding a baby

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"That's not how I sat on you."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"Same old same old. How about you?"