Birth Of Baby Gifts

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Bond James, Bond."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

My First Camera

Baby Piano

The cell phone soother for life.

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

A midwife holding a baby

"That's not how I sat on you."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"