Child Birth Gifts

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Bond James, Bond."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.

Baby Piano

The cell phone soother for life.

My First Camera

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

A midwife holding a baby

"That's not how I sat on you."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"Same old same old. How about you?"