Birth Of Child Gifts

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'Are you the one that wanted a ball team?'

'Their problems are just beginning.'

'Your son couldn't come. He sent his sister.'

Fox Hunting

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Bond James, Bond."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.

My First Camera

The cell phone soother for life.

Baby Piano

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

A midwife holding a baby

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"That's not how I sat on you."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Children's artwork exhibition.