Watchful Parent Gifts

"Of course I have eyes on the back of my head, I'm your mother."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

Miracle Mom #5,293

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

Father nursing his sick child

Dating The Daughter Of A Hockey Goalie

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

Sweet Jailbreak

"What did you learn in school today that I'd object to?"

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

"Daddy's still up - I can see him loading his shotgun."

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

"I just decided what my daughter is going to wear to this year's prom."

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

"My mom says you can sleep on the top bunk if your parents will sign a release form."

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

"Grumble all you want, but if you're not wearing your PPE, I won't let you use tools!"

'Nobody kicks sand in Henry's face!'

Safety is about FAMILY!...

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"