Wardrobe Warrior Gifts

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

'Do these pants make me look fat?'

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Fashion police

Breakages must be paid for

"I'm a 34" struggling in a 36"- let me have a 38"."

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

'No..that's not 'smart casual'....'

"Is there a seamstress present?"

Nothing to wear. Please help.

The Moth Menace.

'I was going to buy myself a new outfit today, but I'm meeting pockets of resistance.'

'Kings are SUPPOSED to flaunt it!'

Mr Big Man's ShopMr Ugly Man's Shop.

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

'Don't look now, Kellmyer, But your pants are in material breach.'

'Why can I never find my camouflage trousers?'

"Now do you believe me when I tell you that I have nothing to wear?"

"Oh, excuse me. You're obviously not responsible for tasteful clothes."

Jeans Styles

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

"What do you mean 'you don't like this outfit', these are the clothes I came in with."

"It can't be too sexy or she'll think I've done something wrong!"

'This is a disaster! The end of the world is near and I've got nothing to put on!'

"I'm not wearing that - it screams first day of school."

"I'm looking for a nice basic piece of clothing that can fulfill every need I have."

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

"Mini, midi, maxi. Maxi, midi, mini . . ."

"I can't walk in these shoes, which is a problem, because I can't sit down in this skirt."

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

"What if I called the three outfits that fit me a 'capsule wardrobe'."

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

'My little black dress has gotten too little.'

'How obvious can you get?'

'zillions spent learning about weight loss... But no one has a clue about weight shift.'