Wardrobe Update Gifts

'Mind if I wear it to the door? I want to test audience reaction.'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"This is daring, but I like it."

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

How to read the dress code?

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

'My power ties are demanding more closet space.'

'Men pack. Women move.'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"How many capsule wardrobes is this again?"

"Buy them - and never look back."

"If my calculations are correct, we'll finally have the answer to looking cute in the winter!"

Wearing all black

I hate the spring ritual of not being able to wear a bulky sweater to cover the weight I've gained during the winter.

"I don't really have the skirt for this blouse."

'zillions spent learning about weight loss... But no one has a clue about weight shift.'

''Get a life' was last year! This year it's 'get a while bunch of lives!''

'I'm brilliant, handsome and rich... but I want to be known for the suits I wear.'

Bag Lady.

Objects in mirror fit better than they appear.

The Moth Menace.

"I'm giving you an 'A' for the hair, shoes and trousers; but I think the top still needs some work."

'But it's my favourite jumper...'

"I'm taking everything that looks twentieth-centuryish and tossing it."

'Be sure to take a companion that matches your dress, young lady!'

"I really am very pleased with the dress I bought. It makes me feel not so dumpy and without."

The time has come to bury my dear, sweet friend. Pardon? You have been a great companion and a trusted protector, but the end is nigh. Put my sunscreen into the trash. Hello wool guardian. For some, the change to winter can be dramatic.

"They're all in fashion this time of year - just pick one!"