Wardrobe Refresh Gifts

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

"I really am very pleased with the dress I bought. It makes me feel not so dumpy and without."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

'YOU look at the size...and I'LL look at the price!'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

How to read the dress code?

"I'm sick and tired of black."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

'Men pack. Women move.'

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

'Mind if I wear it to the door? I want to test audience reaction.'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

Wearing all black

"Buy them - and never look back."

'I'm brilliant, handsome and rich... but I want to be known for the suits I wear.'

"I don't really have the skirt for this blouse."

"Is that my skirt?!!"

''Get a life' was last year! This year it's 'get a while bunch of lives!''

'zillions spent learning about weight loss... But no one has a clue about weight shift.'

"We are looking for the non-yucky apparel."

Bag Lady.

Objects in mirror fit better than they appear.

The Moth Menace.

'I can't find my camouflage jacket.'

"I'm giving you an 'A' for the hair, shoes and trousers; but I think the top still needs some work."

'Be sure to take a companion that matches your dress, young lady!'

"I'm taking everything that looks twentieth-centuryish and tossing it."

"I prefer to get a few classic items and build a wardrobe around them."

'I know you want to draw attentin to your blog, but having a wardrobe malfunction won't help.'