Changing Wardrobe Gifts

Objects in mirror fit better than they appear.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"This is daring, but I like it."

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

How to read the dress code?

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

"You want to grow a ponytail? OK...as long as it's not from hair growing out of your ears."

'Men pack. Women move.'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

'Mind if I wear it to the door? I want to test audience reaction.'

"Buy them - and never look back."

Wearing all black

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

'zillions spent learning about weight loss... But no one has a clue about weight shift.'

'I'm brilliant, handsome and rich... but I want to be known for the suits I wear.'

''Get a life' was last year! This year it's 'get a while bunch of lives!''

"I don't really have the skirt for this blouse."

Bag Lady.

"I'm giving you an 'A' for the hair, shoes and trousers; but I think the top still needs some work."

'Be sure to take a companion that matches your dress, young lady!'

'I can't find my camouflage jacket.'

"I'm taking everything that looks twentieth-centuryish and tossing it."

"I really am very pleased with the dress I bought. It makes me feel not so dumpy and without."

"Do you like it?" "I like it." "Is it cute? Do you like it?" "It's very cute. I love it." "So you like it? You it's cute..."

Compliment seeking missile

"Suits you, Sir-makes you look taller.'

"They're all in fashion this time of year - just pick one!"

"Mini, midi, maxi. Maxi, midi, mini . . ."