War Zone Humorist Gifts

'Whoa neat, how do you do that?!'

Cat in a tank...

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'At ease, soldier.'

After defeating terror, George and his friends declare war on mild irritation and clouds.

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

French Army knife

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'...and this is the Mess.'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

'At last! Some decent kit.'

Your Country Needs MOO!

Banting in the Yeomanry

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

At a Country House

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

General's Coin Toss

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

"Whoever made fun of my hat better step forward now, or I'll turn this march around!"

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

"He's rolling over in his grave when free market economics became trade war economics."

US Camouflage School

The Emperor of Irony

Recruit Depot - Barber. That barber is fast! He knows a short-cut!

The Bengal Lancers/Bingo Lancers/Bagel Lancers/Bungle Lancers

Golf war: 'Fore!'

Peacekeeping?

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"The bomb destroys only all life but not object! This means that our troops can have fun plundering and pillaging. War doesn't have to be inhuman, right?"

Beware of the dog.

'I know you didn't just reach through the torpedo tube and grab those fish.'

'President George P. D. Q. ?3 Bush today called for Gulf War VIII'....'

"It's from Private Ryan...Wish you were here."

'At the moment, it's only weakness is flypaper.' - (spyplane research dept.)