Construction Zone Humorist Gifts

'I haven't found anything wrong yet, but it's OK for you to go ahead and worry a bit longer.'

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

"Frosty the Repairman"

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Stone henge swing.

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

Dominoes

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'

Is the heating contractor mad about something? He just needs space to vent?

I like going across the frame of this solar energy facility we're building. I'm waling on a sunbeam!

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

Private work adjustments

"Is it really necessary to shout 'Nailed it!' every time you hammer a nail?"

"Is this your first bricklaying job, Kevin...?"

Super Homeworld

'Remind me to tell the crane driver to bring a flask tomorrow.'

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

'I baked it especially for you.'