Construction Zone Humorist Pillows

'I haven't found anything wrong yet, but it's OK for you to go ahead and worry a bit longer.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

"Frosty the Repairman"

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Stone henge swing.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

Dominoes

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Private work adjustments

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'

"Is this your first bricklaying job, Kevin...?"

Super Homeworld

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

'Remind me to tell the crane driver to bring a flask tomorrow.'

Irish Bricklayer

'I baked it especially for you.'