Construction Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Stone henge swing.

Construction Delays Ahead.

"Listen George, in exchange for two bricklayers and three electricians I can let you have one seasoned plumber and one first round graduate from trade school." "Mnnn. Okay. But, only if you throw in ten Porta Potties." "Ah, John. Can we make it two first round graduates?" "Done."

'As usual, no sexual harassment, no wolf whistle, no nothing!'

"Builders haven't changed much, they've left this job half finished."

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"Frosty the Repairman"

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

Dominoes

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

"It was going to be a high-rise office building. But after three bricks, they ran out of money."

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

I like going across the frame of this solar energy facility we're building. I'm waling on a sunbeam!