Construction Site Humorist Pillows

Caution! Flagman training next 10 miles...stop, stop, stop...

'Wait a minute. Not ALL drugs can removed from the construction site!'

'Break time is over lads.'

Demolition Crew

"I do not change the building codes every week. I do it every other week."

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

"Frosty the Repairman"

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Stone henge swing.

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

Dominoes

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

Private work adjustments

Is the heating contractor mad about something? He just needs space to vent?

I like going across the frame of this solar energy facility we're building. I'm waling on a sunbeam!

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

"Like THAT's ever going to work!"