Construction Humorists Gifts

'Don't tell me how to work safely! I've been at this job for over five years!'

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

"Frosty the Repairman"

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Town Planning Department

Stone henge swing.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'If the GPC built office blocks!'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

Dominoes

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

I like going across the frame of this solar energy facility we're building. I'm waling on a sunbeam!

Is the heating contractor mad about something? He just needs space to vent?

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

"Like THAT's ever going to work!"

Private work adjustments

Scaffolding being put together by glue.