Wannabe Superstar Gifts

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

'Never, Ever...try to imitate LeBron James on the basketball court.'

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

Zorro as a child.

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

'The 'most improved player of the year award' or the 'you don't suck as much as you did last year award' goes to...'

As Seen On TV

'I could have been the next Neil Young, but my ol' man made me take singing lessons.'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

'It's not just that he plays games all the time, it's the games he plays. He's not playing 'Guitar Hero,' he's playing 'Guitar Sidekick''.

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

House building chart (like steps).

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

Your Ticket to Fame and Fortune...sold out.

Before and After Tattoos.

'Confessing your sins in a folk ballad was an interesting idea, Larry, but I'm afraid your singing has forced me to add one more sin to your list!'

A young boy shaving

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

'Thank you. Do you mind if I spray it about like they do on tv?'

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

Driving School Car being Followed by Wreckers.

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

"We're only here summers, but Roger likes to be taken for a local."