Wannabe Celebrity Gifts

"Carry yourself like everyone knows you, ad everyone you meet will feel like they should know you."

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

Zorro as a child.

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

Tom Cruise

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

As Seen On TV

'I could have been the next Neil Young, but my ol' man made me take singing lessons.'

'It's not just that he plays games all the time, it's the games he plays. He's not playing 'Guitar Hero,' he's playing 'Guitar Sidekick''.

House building chart (like steps).

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

Your Ticket to Fame and Fortune...sold out.

Before and After Tattoos.

'Confessing your sins in a folk ballad was an interesting idea, Larry, but I'm afraid your singing has forced me to add one more sin to your list!'

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

'Thank you. Do you mind if I spray it about like they do on tv?'

A young boy shaving

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

And so ended the years of preparation our hero refusing to whimper even now in his final, flopping moments.

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'

What he really hoped to be someday was a TV news anchor.

'Never, Ever...try to imitate LeBron James on the basketball court.'