Wannabe Rock Star Gifts

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

'I could have been the next Neil Young, but my ol' man made me take singing lessons.'

'It's not just that he plays games all the time, it's the games he plays. He's not playing 'Guitar Hero,' he's playing 'Guitar Sidekick''.

He kept up his guitar practise...

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Rocking Witches.

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Guitar Man.

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

"Play dead!" "What a long strange trip its been..."

Zorro as a child.

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'Of course we've got Marshall amps Jim! Only the best up here.'

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

'Why is the guitarist doing a Jack Sparrow impression?'

Plymouth Rock

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Dino Fest

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.

'I'm with the band.'

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

'Here's one my dad wrote.'

This next number is when we smash our guitars...

As Seen On TV

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

Lou Reed

'Elton John'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

"I think your guitar's broken. No matter what you play, it sounds the same."

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

Guitar Hero.

"This next song is for my ex-wife Joan."