Wannabe Viral Sensation Gifts

'I'm not getting any hits!' 'Bloggers can't be choosers.'

Zorro as a child.

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

'The 'most improved player of the year award' or the 'you don't suck as much as you did last year award' goes to...'

As Seen On TV

'I could have been the next Neil Young, but my ol' man made me take singing lessons.'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

'It's not just that he plays games all the time, it's the games he plays. He's not playing 'Guitar Hero,' he's playing 'Guitar Sidekick''.

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

Your Ticket to Fame and Fortune...sold out.

Before and After Tattoos.

'Confessing your sins in a folk ballad was an interesting idea, Larry, but I'm afraid your singing has forced me to add one more sin to your list!'

A young boy shaving

I'm emulating my dad - running around with mags like this. Looking smart...and in truth I'm just reading the funnies and the horoscopes!

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

And so ended the years of preparation our hero refusing to whimper even now in his final, flopping moments.

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'

"Carry yourself like everyone knows you, ad everyone you meet will feel like they should know you."

"We're only here summers, but Roger likes to be taken for a local."

Lance, have you ever had something you posted on Facebook go viral? No. The closest I came to that was that time on Twitter when a tweet of mine went bacterial.

'Never, Ever...try to imitate LeBron James on the basketball court.'

'But look, Sire -- a whole lot of people have you down as their fifth choice!'