Wannabe Baller Gifts

Before and After Tattoos.

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

Zorro as a child.

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

As Seen On TV

'I could have been the next Neil Young, but my ol' man made me take singing lessons.'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

'I'll be talking gibberish to you in a moment. There's a big tip in it for you, if you pretend I'm speaking French.'

'It's not just that he plays games all the time, it's the games he plays. He's not playing 'Guitar Hero,' he's playing 'Guitar Sidekick''.

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

"Papi, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

'I told my teacher I won't be returning to school...'

'Confessing your sins in a folk ballad was an interesting idea, Larry, but I'm afraid your singing has forced me to add one more sin to your list!'

A young boy shaving

In-law country

I'm emulating my dad - running around with mags like this. Looking smart...and in truth I'm just reading the funnies and the horoscopes!

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'

Jenny has a mid-lithe crisis.

"Well, if we're playing tackle football I'll be the coach!"

'Never, Ever...try to imitate LeBron James on the basketball court.'

"We're only here summers, but Roger likes to be taken for a local."

"Carry yourself like everyone knows you, ad everyone you meet will feel like they should know you."