Wannabe Baller Prints

Before and After Tattoos.

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

As Seen On TV

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

'I'll be talking gibberish to you in a moment. There's a big tip in it for you, if you pretend I'm speaking French.'

"Papi, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

'I told my teacher I won't be returning to school...'

A young boy shaving

I'm emulating my dad - running around with mags like this. Looking smart...and in truth I'm just reading the funnies and the horoscopes!

In-law country

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'

Jenny has a mid-lithe crisis.

"Well, if we're playing tackle football I'll be the coach!"

"Carry yourself like everyone knows you, ad everyone you meet will feel like they should know you."

"We're only here summers, but Roger likes to be taken for a local."

'I'm not getting any hits!' 'Bloggers can't be choosers.'