Wallet Management Gifts

Maybe clean out your wallet

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Great Chinese Dynasties

A fight in the Boardroom.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Build Your Own Portfolio

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Watering Money

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

You can breed these if the environment is right.

Stock market investment advice

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

Flat tax - equal burden?