Waiting Connoisseur Gifts

"They are NEVER going to call my name."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

Crazy old clown cat lady.

Clown's In and Out Trays.

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Medical Center.

NASA Hits Shuffle

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Moliere

Clown Watercooler

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Bleak House

C Day Lewis.

Charles Dickens.

"Cat got your tongue?"

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

Impatient queue of people. The signs read queue here,sigh heavily from here, and Tut Loudly from here.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

"Keep back... I'm going to try reviving him with my hand buzzer!"

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

Sergei Rachmaninov

Yeah, last words are like snappy comeback --- You always think of the best ones after it's too late!

clown trophies