Queue Connoisseur Gifts

'When I arrived I was cleanshaven.'

Impatient queue of people. The signs read queue here,sigh heavily from here, and Tut Loudly from here.

"Can you hold my place in line while I run off to live the life I always wanted?"

Hey, little buddy. How's it going in there? You fall in? Occupied! I know it's occupied, little buddy. We all know. It's been occupied for 30 minutes. There's a long line out here. I said "occupied!" When a person says "occupied" from in here, that's supposed to buy another 10 minutes at least. "Occupied" is not a magic word, little buddy. Inhabited! That neither. We're all still here.

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

'Hey! You let Paul in first! What am I - chopped liver?!...'

Man queuing in heaven after killing himself over queuing

Human Cull: People who spend 10 minutes in line for food and only read the menu to make up their mind when they get to the front.

"Ere, I was here first!"

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Test your patience, back in one hour.

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

Satis Factory Tour

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

The First Commuters

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

'Maybe if you make it smaller, put something soft on the end and come up with a better name than 'Cue-Tip'...'

"Five ball in the corner pocket." "Me in the side pocket!"

Patience Tested While You Wait.

"Have you met my wing man?"

'Hey! This isn't a sold-out crowd! It's just a bunch of cartoon humps symbolizing a sold-out crowd!'

Equestrian cheats by using a staircase instead of jumping over the jump.

"Trust me – This is some of the best rest you could ever get."

A butcher's counter is divided between 'delicious,' 'not bad' and 'edible.'

Three people waiting in a queue.

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

Post office - Even Pension Day was the same. Dorian, was always asked to produce his birth certificate.

'We're not actually full, we just keep a line outside to make the place look good...'

Stand in the Q.

". . . and I haven't met anyone interesting in years." "What am I-chopped liver?"