Cue Connoisseur Gifts

"Five ball in the corner pocket." "Me in the side pocket!"

Snooker player with telescopic sight fitted to his cue.

'Maybe if you make it smaller, put something soft on the end and come up with a better name than 'Cue-Tip'...'

Snooker player using his cue as a remote control.

Snooker cue pierces ball.

Snooker Duel

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'He likes to power nap.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"