Cult Connoisseur Gifts

'Don't look now, but they're starting ANOTHER religion in the Middle East.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Piano Recital

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Creation of Red Wine

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"He's an abstract artist."

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

The Cremaster Cycle

Scarpia's Palace

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'Who's the new guy?'

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

The Kali De Milo.

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."