Connoisseur Wannabe Gifts

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Bathroom Fairy

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

C Day Lewis.

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

Pizza and Related Searches.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

Wildlife Refuge

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

Sock Without Partners Sock Hop

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

Sergei Rachmaninov

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

Yeah, last words are like snappy comeback --- You always think of the best ones after it's too late!

'Ralph, how much do you want for that lure? Just name it.'

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

The Guy Who Invented An Alcohol Substitute

Drinkers.

"Can you recommend any wines for the middle class?"