Wage Critic Pillows

"We will create 12,000 new jobs...but we only need 4,000 new employees because on these salaries they'll need three jobs each to make a living!"

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'Mr Clayton will see you first, Sir.'

'For those of you who don't wish to know the results of our executives pay...turn away now.'

"Brodkin, now that the economy is creating jobs at a faster than expected clip, why don't you go out and find yourself one?"

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

BP Greed Credentials - huge profits and cuts to environmental promises.

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

Progressive Democrats Like Elizabeth Warren Want a Higher Minimum Wage That Is Way Too Low

"That's not a company progress chart. That's the bosses salary!"

'Just because I'm Overpaid doesn't mean You're Underpaid.'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

"Remember unpaid interns are a renewable resource."

'There are some subjects that are off limits...CEO bonuses...Overtime pay...Business ethics...'

The struggle for a decent payment.

'The problem is, you don't take enough pride in your temporary, no benefit, below living wage job!'

Moanathon.

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

'And best of all - no hidden clauses!'

"As long as you insist that we hire executives smarter than you, how about we get ones that smell better, too?"

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional, you could also opt to do 36 or 48 hours a day!"

"Any other skills besides having the ability to look busy?"