Compensation Critics Pillows

'We don't pay a salary. We've found we can get all the help we need by providing health insurance.'

Because the company does not offer employees a healthcare plan, we try to boost their compensation in other ways."

". . . You didn't have to pay for gas and electricity for five years! That's enough compensation, isn't it?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

'It's a treasure map.'

I Want to be a Drone President

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

'Just because I'm Overpaid doesn't mean You're Underpaid.'

'For those of you who don't wish to know the results of our executives pay...turn away now.'

Corporate person hood!

"We will create 12,000 new jobs...but we only need 4,000 new employees because on these salaries they'll need three jobs each to make a living!"

'I think the global banking sector, drunk on years of excessive bonuses, may need a little more than your 'very angry' T-shirt to make them toe the line.'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

We should promote many of our staff to management positions...

'There are some subjects that are off limits...CEO bonuses...Overtime pay...Business ethics...'

Penitentiary (No Criminal Testing).

I dread to think what he would have got had they made a profit.

'No thanks. I never sign a sales deal at the door.'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

"A motion to democratize the board has been made and quashed."

Virtue Signaling for Organizations Messaging to Black Lives Matter

Imagine the mess the world woudl be in if we didn't have the best executives money can buy running it.

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

Lining our pockets since 1987.

"...I think this is because we forgot to hire some workers."

No to Greed

"Incentive program, you mean like your paycheck?"

Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of an organization advocating the overthrow of the generous executive bonus system in corporations?