Compensation Commentator Pillows

I dread to think what he would have got had they made a profit.

"Damn shareholders are objecting to 'grotesquely inflated' executive pay... They want us to settle for 'outrageously inflated'!"

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

'Sure, your salaries are low but think of all the apples you're getting.'

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

Ants dressed as businessmen going to work.

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'It's a treasure map.'

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

Suggestion Box.

"That's not a company progress chart. That's the bosses salary!"

"Your transfer comes with a bonus - 40 acres and a mule."

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

There are better responses to 'change' than running around the office screaming 'We're doomed!'

'There are some subjects that are off limits...CEO bonuses...Overtime pay...Business ethics...'

...Unemployment rising... 'I knew the employment bubble would burst eventually.'

"Bit if I'm here...how can I also be up close and personal to my managers?"

'Money isn't everything...but it should be.'

'I'd rather be high up on the Totem Pole than high up on a pedestal.'

"This is a work station, Jackson!"

'I'm giving you a praise. It's not a raise but it will look good on your evaluation.'

'Remember, Junior, in business, you're nobody until somebody loathes you.'

'Ageism at work'

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

Smoking in office cubicles.

Suggestion box.