Compensation Commentator Gifts

I dread to think what he would have got had they made a profit.

"Damn shareholders are objecting to 'grotesquely inflated' executive pay... They want us to settle for 'outrageously inflated'!"

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

'Sure, your salaries are low but think of all the apples you're getting.'

Ants dressed as businessmen going to work.

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

The Hockey World

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'It's a treasure map.'

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

"Your transfer comes with a bonus - 40 acres and a mule."

"That's not a company progress chart. That's the bosses salary!"

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

Suggestion Box.

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

There are better responses to 'change' than running around the office screaming 'We're doomed!'

'There are some subjects that are off limits...CEO bonuses...Overtime pay...Business ethics...'

'Money isn't everything...but it should be.'

"Bit if I'm here...how can I also be up close and personal to my managers?"

...Unemployment rising... 'I knew the employment bubble would burst eventually.'

"Like Facebook, I have also changed our company name so that it will be more clear and transparent to our customers who we are and what we do."

99 Cent Store

'I'd rather be high up on the Totem Pole than high up on a pedestal.'

"This is a work station, Jackson!"

'I'm giving you a praise. It's not a raise but it will look good on your evaluation.'

'Remember, Junior, in business, you're nobody until somebody loathes you.'