Compensation Critique Gifts

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

"I don't make the rules around here. I just enshrine them."

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

Finally! There comes my most important man!

'It's a treasure map.'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"I can't help but think that coming here is a total waste of time"

'Let's get with it, Miss Ogden -- Spread some papers around on my desk!'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

'I think the global banking sector, drunk on years of excessive bonuses, may need a little more than your 'very angry' T-shirt to make them toe the line.'

'There are two men and a dog out there, and the dog is asleep.'

'If we can't stand up to the insurance lobby, why would the public think we can stand up against the Taliban?'

'Just because I'm Overpaid doesn't mean You're Underpaid.'

Federal Department of Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!

'Or we can ask the government for a bailout.'

"We will create 12,000 new jobs...but we only need 4,000 new employees because on these salaries they'll need three jobs each to make a living!"

'For those of you who don't wish to know the results of our executives pay...turn away now.'

"It was just a little setback - but the boss had away of making seem much larger."

"I'm Action Plan Man. Good luck finding someone to impliment it."

'What can we do to reduce our spending?'

'There are some subjects that are off limits...CEO bonuses...Overtime pay...Business ethics...'

Corporate policy is that this company is now paperless. Please use hand.

I dread to think what he would have got had they made a profit.

"In this company, GDP stands for gree, deception and profit."

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

'Apparently many companies experience problems including: a lack of direction, poor accountability, lack of respect among members, pushing personal agendas, poor communication ...'

Transparency and big business.

"It says 'how about putting a slot in the suggestion box'. Well, I don't know how that got in there."