Salary Critics Gifts

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

I've given you 110 for ten years, like you asked. Now I'm taking that year off that I've earned!

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

'It's a treasure map.'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

'For those of you who don't wish to know the results of our executives pay...turn away now.'

"We will create 12,000 new jobs...but we only need 4,000 new employees because on these salaries they'll need three jobs each to make a living!"

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

"That's not a company progress chart. That's the bosses salary!"

'Just because I'm Overpaid doesn't mean You're Underpaid.'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

"Remember unpaid interns are a renewable resource."

'There are some subjects that are off limits...CEO bonuses...Overtime pay...Business ethics...'

"Workers have obligation to limit their economic demands to make the USA more competitive!"

'If this is a democracy, how come voters don't get matching funds?'

' I earn a six-figure income, if you count those two little numbers after the decimal point.'

'We've been given three months notice backdated twelve weeks.'

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

"Incentive program, you mean like your paycheck?"

Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of an organization advocating the overthrow of the generous executive bonus system in corporations?

". . . You didn't have to pay for gas and electricity for five years! That's enough compensation, isn't it?"

Number of Days Without a Rise

"We've been told to keep him in there until the election is down to the final two!"

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

Boardroom salaries

Boss in Office: 'We've had to recalibrate the bonus system - you now owe us five years worth of luncheon vouchers.'

"Before we have our Maths lesson, a word from our sponsor"

'Get in there, $1,500,000, and pinch-hit for $3,250,000'

'We don't pay a salary. We've found we can get all the help we need by providing health insurance.'

'I guess our Performance Appraisal system is a little bit 'Old School'.'

"When should we specify the people we're suing for unspecified damages?"

...I've been sitting grumbling about the size of your salary too.

"I don't want severance pay but I'm growing tired of sufferance pay."