Salary Critique Fan Gifts

...I've been sitting grumbling about the size of your salary too.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'And this will be our strategic plan for the coming year.'

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

Privatized Jails

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

"Suppose we leave the salary unchanged but get smaller women."

'Just because I'm Overpaid doesn't mean You're Underpaid.'

"We will create 12,000 new jobs...but we only need 4,000 new employees because on these salaries they'll need three jobs each to make a living!"

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

'For those of you who don't wish to know the results of our executives pay...turn away now.'

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

'There are some subjects that are off limits...CEO bonuses...Overtime pay...Business ethics...'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

What motivates you? Apart from earning enough money to keep me alive?

"Wow, we're doing great."

BP's Spill Bill

'We don't believe in treating people like a number. Here, you'll be treated like a slave.'

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

'No, I'm not wearing high heels. I look taller because the minimum wage will increase and now I can stand taller.'

'How do you like the new incentive scheme?'

' I earn a six-figure income, if you count those two little numbers after the decimal point.'

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

"Publicly, we're still saying there are no side effects."

"How can a drugstore afford to buy a large insurance company for $69 billion?"

"Incentive program, you mean like your paycheck?"

There comes a moment when you realize that you're not going to get that payrise you've been hoping for.

Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of an organization advocating the overthrow of the generous executive bonus system in corporations?