Pay Scale Critic Pillows

'Just because I'm Overpaid doesn't mean You're Underpaid.'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

'A word in my office Jones.'

'Mr Clayton will see you first, Sir.'

"Brodkin, now that the economy is creating jobs at a faster than expected clip, why don't you go out and find yourself one?"

"That's not a company progress chart. That's the bosses salary!"

"We will create 12,000 new jobs...but we only need 4,000 new employees because on these salaries they'll need three jobs each to make a living!"

'For those of you who don't wish to know the results of our executives pay...turn away now.'

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

"Remember unpaid interns are a renewable resource."

The struggle for a decent payment.

'There are some subjects that are off limits...CEO bonuses...Overtime pay...Business ethics...'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

"Looks like you're quite the wheeler and dealer... unfortunately we're only hiring movers and shakers."

'We've been given three months notice backdated twelve weeks.'

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

"Of course we should get equal pay, it's time men realised we're just as greedy as they are."

"Any other skills besides having the ability to look busy?"

Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of an organization advocating the overthrow of the generous executive bonus system in corporations?

Will work for question marks.

"Incentive program, you mean like your paycheck?"

"So you're looking for a well paid, non job - how about trying a government quango?"

Boardroom salaries

'I need somebody just like the guy I fired.'

Boss in Office: 'We've had to recalibrate the bonus system - you now owe us five years worth of luncheon vouchers.'

Career Opportunities of the Future

". . . You didn't have to pay for gas and electricity for five years! That's enough compensation, isn't it?"

'All this identity theft is making my job very difficult!'

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

"What we're looking for is somebody of about twenty five with forty years' experience."

'Get in there, $1,500,000, and pinch-hit for $3,250,000'

'It's a privilege to work for us, so we charge a fee to work here. The good news is there's plenty of overtime.'