Visual Arts Visionary Gifts

"This one will go with everything,

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

Tim Burton

The Cremaster Cycle

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

'These virtual-reality goggles are great! Right now, I'm sun-bathing in Tahiti...'

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

Bear Juggling Penguins.

"Someday, son, all this will be in the cartoonist’s flat file."

'All of my paints dried up in their tubes, so I decided to quit painting and become a sculptor.'

Stage producer.

Artistic Licence.

Two words, boss: Virtual reality. We glue virtual reality goggles to our coffee mugs. Come again? When patrons sip their Himalayan mochas, they'll think they're dangling from a cliff in the Himalayan mountains. People will come from Miles around! People will throw up for miles around. We'll give patrons mops that double as virtual reality hockey sticks. This conversation is virtually over.

Somebody should really be filming this for YouTube.

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

E. TR. AHS. PCNL.

As an artist, Ug was thousands of years ahead of his time.

"Thanks to my new glasses, I can enjoy a good old "bird's eye view" again..."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: All in a Day's Work

"Is this speech pie-in-the-sky nonsense or aspirational?"

"It's good but, you were supposed to be painting an apple."

"The role is subtly nuanced and the person we choose has to bring a sense of 'lots of money for the producers' to the part."

"I know it is a digital production, but this cheque is a digit short."

Son of Alien.

Some rejected prototypes from Madonna's bra lab.

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

'You asked for the 'Cartoonists' Cut'. You got the Cartoonists' Cut'. What's the problem?'

James Cameron

A pop-up book author suffering from Folder's Block.