Virtual Exam Expert Gifts

Nervous Oral Testing

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"How'd I do on the test?"

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

"Man, these closed book exams suck! Who could possibly remember all this crap?"

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

"Ted doesn't test well."

"You can't see a grief counselor just because you got a 'B'."

"Improve your geography results, Perkins or you're history!"

"Job interview!"

'You're not at all qualified. Thanks for coming in and wasting my time. We'll let you know by the end of the week.'

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

Study more to pass more tests.

Now Hiring, 'I was about to ask him if he could work without supervision, when he just wandered away!'

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."

'Final exams are easier if you think of them as exit polls.'

"I was building up my pecs."

"The whole thing is basically fiction. But I just thought my resume could use some spice."

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

"Is it ne'er do wells, or ne'ers do well?"

'Congratulations, Kevin - Your test scores show that you qualify for our 'frequent homework' program.'

"Dad, when I leave high school, I want to get a job and help support the family."

'I've gotten over my fear of tests, but now I seem to have developed studying anxiety.'