Virtual Interviewee Gifts

"I didn't get the job. They hated my Zoom background."

I'm a self-made man!

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Nervous Oral Testing

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"Oh yes sir, I'm finding I can get so much more work done, working from home."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"Thanks for coming in."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

Personnel. Now, I want you to forget everything you learned in school. I'm way ahead of you!

'We're looking for someone who can multitask - but not during the interview.'

Negative Interest Meeting

"We pay the living dead wage."

'What about the rolls you promised me?'

"So did you do all your leadership training online?"

"I didn't get the job: apparently, burying your head in the sand is not a good project management strategy..."

"Hey guys, here's one I wrote about the loneliness of Lockdown."

"I'll have my people zoom your people."

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

"Okay, well, welcome everyone, to our first annual shareholders' webcast."

"I'm sensing confidence, boldness, and moral sensibility. You're not going to turn out to be a whistleblower, are you?"

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

"Of course there are some advantages to working here...we have a Food Bank situated conveniently at the end of the street!"

"My Dreams are all Gallery View now."

'On paper, you appear to be an excellent candidate for a sales representative. However, without the ability to palm a basketball...'

'Are you a good mixer?'

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

'Impressive credentials - BA Columbia, MBA Harvard, stints as CFO and CEO at three major corporations - and what's this about being a bluesman?'

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

Virtual Magic Tricks