Interactive Interviews Gifts

'We're looking for someone who can multitask - but not during the interview.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

I'm a self-made man!

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

'Cat job interviews.'

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Bad Interview Technique

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

Presenter Auditions.

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."