Interactive Interviews T-Shirts

'We're looking for someone who can multitask - but not during the interview.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

I'm a self-made man!

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'Cat job interviews.'

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Bad Interview Technique

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

Presenter Auditions.

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"