Interviewee Gifts

"I'm sensing confidence, boldness, and moral sensibility. You're not going to turn out to be a whistleblower, are you?"

"Remember when I said I was going to be honest with you, Jeff? That was a big, fat lie."

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

'Special skills? Well, I've been told I make a mean martini!'

"I didn't get the job: apparently, burying your head in the sand is not a good project management strategy..."

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

"Of course there are some advantages to working here...we have a Food Bank situated conveniently at the end of the street!"

'You guys are great. This is the nicest turn-down I've ever received.'

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"So where do you see yourself in 5 months?"

'Do you know why we make the best dog food in the world? Because we know dog food!'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

I'm a self-made man!

'Impressive credentials - BA Columbia, MBA Harvard, stints as CFO and CEO at three major corporations - and what's this about being a bluesman?'

'I love plants and it also give me many more places to hide.'

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

Your resume says you were a waiter...

'Are you a good mixer?'

'On paper, you appear to be an excellent candidate for a sales representative. However, without the ability to palm a basketball...'

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"You'll never find a job unless you dress for success, Grak."

"Well, that IS impressive ....but we thought it was just a metaphor for your skill set!"

"I'm perfect for the screenwriter's job. And if you don't like my résumé, I've got 12 more with alternative endings!"

'I love your 'never-say-never' attitude, but we never hired you.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

STRIP Hambone: Computer job interview

"So did you do all your leadership training online?"

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'What about the rolls you promised me?'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

Personnel. Now, I want you to forget everything you learned in school. I'm way ahead of you!

"I'm not supposed to say anything, but you really aced this round of the interview process."

"We’ve done a thorough background check. Now, about this nose picking incident in kindergarten..."