Virtual Classroom Veteran Gifts

'I'm also in education. I issue bathroom passes for distance-learning students.'

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

Negative Interest Meeting

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

"So. . . now we know - being home is not the same as being home to be schooled. . ."

'I've deleted my on-line homework teacher three times but he won't go away.'

"Eee sir! I'd completely forgotten that you've got legs!"!

"Whose idea was it to create a Zoom session for first graders?"

"Remote teaching isn't good for torturing a substitute. For that you need a live audience."

"We need to talk about your Zoom presence."

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

It's often meant as a compliment, but in this case saying he's "in a class by himself" is not a good thing.

Homeschooling during lockdown

"O.K. Kindergarten friends, let's sing together... 'If you're happy and you know it - and you've washed your hands for at least 20 seconds and you've squirted some sanitizer on them - clap your hands.'"

Since we started online classes, I've had to get through a long, slow lesson every day. Me too. I constantly have to teach my parents how to use technology.

"I think John is really getting into making remote teaching videos."

Breakout Room

'No dad, it's not so much me being brilliant on the computer. it's you being thick.'

WE WUZ ROBBED!

"Remember son, school days, best days of your life."

Joe Biden Articulates His Plan for the Coronavirus

Teachers TV on the television - 'You there! Pay attention at home!'

Care Package

"We don't call them substitute teachers anymore."

Ok, class, it's Sophia's turn to read her What I Didn't do on My Summer Vacation report.

'I switched from yoga to visualization, for relaxation. I picture a world in which all students with discipline problems attend my class online, from their homes.'

"Kevin, your studying remotely via zoom was too impersonal. I much prefer to flunk you in person."

"Good to see you up bright and early."

"But you can't put me back in the waiting room, Ms Jones, we're not on Zoom!"

Even though we're having business meetings with Zoom now, things move along at a snail's pace just like before.