Vintage Television Aficionado Gifts

Joan Collins

"Great, another Friday night watching 'Antiques Roadshow' with him... My life stinks."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Joan Hickson

TV jester.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

The Old Time Television Channel

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Derek and Clive (Dudley Moore and Peter Cook).

"Your remote control, sire."

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

Huawei Five-O

John Laurie

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

The Bronze Age of Television

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

Wild and crazy salmon

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"I like everything Big Bird's ever done."

You probably perfected your ability to mete out justice by watching "Perry Mason" as a kid. Personally, I perfected my ability to lie by watching "Leave It To Beaver."

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

'This gene is necessary for experiencing pleasure when watching 'The Three Stooges'. It occurs only on the 'Y' chromosome.'

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

"Ooo, great reception. Keep your hand there."

'Good morning, Ginger! -- Good morning, Mary Ann!'

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'