Viking Lore Gifts

"Try not to think of this as a raid. We prefer to call in an external audit."

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

"Potpourri air freshener? Who's the wise guy?"

Barbarians: These retirement parties always get a little awkward towards the end.

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

The Bikings

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

Stabbing an opera singer to hit the high notes.

"Ramming Speed!"

"Magnus! How many times must I tell you...Skulls of your enemies go on the top rack!!!"

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

Really Early Vikings

Ginger God

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

"Hi, my name is Daniel. And I am Thor..."

Viking with bike handlebars on helmet.

'We rape, pillage and kill. THAT'S our corporate mission statement.'

'After the tour feel free to roam and pillage.'

Pillaging For Mom

Wotan

"According to our information you have placed a looted treasure in an undiscovered land..."

"I am Thor, God of Thunder - and this is my brother, Low-key."

'You're radiating negative energy.'

'It's a new idea where you plunder them just a little bit on a regular basis -- it's called 'taxation.''

Rainbow bridge to Valhalla

Brunhilde in a ring of fire

"Deep down, I really believe the people of this country would've LOVED our brand of freedom and democracy. Too bad they didn't survive it."

'Well, once again he's led us to victory and... Oh, here we go. The obligatory Gatorade drenching.'