Viking Lore Gifts

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

Barbarians: These retirement parties always get a little awkward towards the end.

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

The Bikings

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

Stabbing an opera singer to hit the high notes.

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

"Ramming Speed!"

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

"Magnus! How many times must I tell you...Skulls of your enemies go on the top rack!!!"

Really Early Vikings

Ginger God

"Hi, my name is Daniel. And I am Thor..."

Viking with bike handlebars on helmet.

'We rape, pillage and kill. THAT'S our corporate mission statement.'

'After the tour feel free to roam and pillage.'

"According to our information you have placed a looted treasure in an undiscovered land..."

Wotan

"I am Thor, God of Thunder - and this is my brother, Low-key."

'It's a new idea where you plunder them just a little bit on a regular basis -- it's called 'taxation.''

'You're radiating negative energy.'

Brunhilde in a ring of fire

"Deep down, I really believe the people of this country would've LOVED our brand of freedom and democracy. Too bad they didn't survive it."

"It's a concussion, Sven—you're sitting out the next siege."

Rainbow bridge to Valhalla

"Not to lecture, but the skull of your fallen enemy is reusable and much less wasteful."

'They've been on too many English raids !'

Viking Funeral

A Viking Funeral for my Goldfish