Viking Mythology Buff Gifts

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

Why Vikings Didn't Have Many Graduation Ceremonies.

Alberich turns into a dragon

Toadstools

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

Wotan with eye patch

"Recalculating route..."

Viking Loch Ness

'One more curse out of you, young man, and it's right down to the principal's office.'

Divine Desk Bins

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"Of course, it may be one of those sting operations!"

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

The Mummy's Purse...

Sisyphus Sawyer

Stabbing an opera singer to hit the high notes.

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

"He's been downgraded to a Category One."

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

The princess and the key

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

Online Dating for Dummies

'Great, we're lost. I thought you said you knew the way to the ark! I bet even the stupid monkeys made it there!'

"My new day job is killing me."

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'